Everything I Know, I Learned From The X-Files...

(This list was created by the postings in the FOX Forum)

* Trust no one

* The truth is out there, you just might not like it!

* Never enter a bathroom without checking it out first!

* When in the woods, dress warmly, have plenty of light, and have a good catalogue of songs in your head.


* If you hear a strange noise, don't move towards it stay still and scream as loud as you can!
* When all else fails, blame it on the aliens or the government conspiracy.

* Trust no one except your partner and always remember there's hope and hope dies last!!!

* Running in heels isn't all that hard.

* You can have a meaningful relationship for 7-8 years without sex.

* Redheads have more fun.

* Don't work for the government.

* Autopsies don't ruin your appetite...they can actually suggest dinner!

* Don't go on road trips with men who smoke.

* Though shadowy characters come back, dead family members never do.

* Avoid letting people write you into a movie.

* The easiest way into a man's heart is with an Iced tea, or your knowledge of Witchcraft.

* If you shoot a guy, and he comes back to you, you know its love!

* Sometimes it's better to leave the metal implants in your neck.

* Bees are bad... very, very bad...

* Don't get too attached to people... they tend to die.

* Always carry latex gloves.....you just never know

* There's something unquestionably attractive about small town sheriffs.

* It's customary to let in drunken men who are concerned about recycling.

* You're phone will always ring at 10:13, 2:34, or any other meaningful number...

* Somebody is always watching.

* "Joy to the World" is the first song anyone thinks of...isn't it?

* One cheap lock on your front door is all the security you need against large scale global and inter-planetary conspiracy.

* There's no need to move after your sister is killed in your hallway, or a liver eating monster breaks in, or a guy tried to steal your finger nails, or.....

* Shoot first, apologise later.

* There is a scientific explanation for everything! Even a whammy!

* When your cell phone rings someone has almost always died and you need to perform the autopsy.

* When your partner hands you a bottle of liquid to have analysed, it is most likely monkey pee!

* You can go through your whole life without ever carrying a purse.

* Dry cleaners can get apparently any stain out of your clothing, no matter how toxic, noxious or otherworldly.

* Sharing hotel rooms is cheaper.

* Just because you buried him, it doesn't mean he's dead.

* Smart is sexy!

* You can always trust a geek...or a trio of geeks.

* Smoking men equal problems.

* Geeks are your best friends.

* Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

* The government is really cheap when it comes to lighting.

* People in suits, military uniforms, or lab coats; any combination of those is usually a bad thing.

* Never go into outhouses.

* Your hair makes you who you are…..don't mess with the hair.

* Video games can be killer no, really, KILLER!!

* Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.

* $20 bills make great tracking devices...same goes for pens.

* Hacking is a turn on. *wink*

* Some people just can't handle autopsies.

* No one is dead unless you see the body...even then it's if-y.

* If something is gooey and on a home-made "nest", DON"T TOUCH IT!

* You can't always trust what you see

* Porno collections are the most sot after possessions

* The heart wants what the heart wants

* Tapping an X on your window is better than using a pager

* Stay away from corn crops

* Bathrooms are dangerous places

* If it's iced tea, it must be love, if it's root beer it must be fate.

* Don't drop your flashlight.

* Basements make great offices

* If you shoot once, and they keep coming, RUN!

* Never take your dog to work with you

* If you find a chip in your neck...leave it there!!!

* Always carry an extra gun, in case you loose one in a fight.

* Never give up on a miracle

* Spooky men are sexy

* Hips before hands.

* Be careful around vending machines, and if they don't work, RUN!

* When in doubt get a DNA test.

* When children that have been missing for years then come back, they look the same as they did when they left

* Don't quit now. After all, no one can do it alone.

* Check your home for hidden cameras

* If you start working with a lady that wears her hair just like you and acts like a mirror around you, run for your life.

* When you meet a man, and all he can do is focus on your hair and nails.....RUN

* You always need an umbrella, never know when frogs might fall on you.

* Watch out for twins, they can, and will, kill you...

* Save your ass and you'll save your head along with it

* Throwing pencils at a ceiling is a good past time

* When faced with a problem always choose the most outrageous theories