Everything I Know, I Learned From The X-Files...

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Everything I Know, I Learned From The X-Files...

Post by cassiechan98 on Mon Dec 20, 2010 8:16 pm

(This list was created by the postings in the FOX Forum)

* Trust no one

* The truth is out there, you just might not like it!

* Never enter a bathroom without checking it out first!

* When in the woods, dress warmly, have plenty of light, and have a good catalogue of songs in your head.

* If you hear a strange noise, don't move towards it stay still and scream as loud as you can!
* When all else fails, blame it on the aliens or the government conspiracy.

* Trust no one except your partner and always remember there's hope and hope dies last!!!

* Running in heels isn't all that hard.

* You can have a meaningful relationship for 7-8 years without sex.

* Redheads have more fun.

* Don't work for the government.

* Autopsies don't ruin your appetite...they can actually suggest dinner!

* Don't go on road trips with men who smoke.

* Though shadowy characters come back, dead family members never do.

* Avoid letting people write you into a movie.

* The easiest way into a man's heart is with an Iced tea, or your knowledge of Witchcraft.

* If you shoot a guy, and he comes back to you, you know its love!

* Sometimes it's better to leave the metal implants in your neck.

* Bees are bad... very, very bad...

* Don't get too attached to people... they tend to die.

* Always carry latex gloves.....you just never know

* There's something unquestionably attractive about small town sheriffs.

* It's customary to let in drunken men who are concerned about recycling.

* You're phone will always ring at 10:13, 2:34, or any other meaningful number...

* Somebody is always watching.

* "Joy to the World" is the first song anyone thinks of...isn't it?

* One cheap lock on your front door is all the security you need against large scale global and inter-planetary conspiracy.

* There's no need to move after your sister is killed in your hallway, or a liver eating monster breaks in, or a guy tried to steal your finger nails, or.....

* Shoot first, apologise later.

* There is a scientific explanation for everything! Even a whammy!

* When your cell phone rings someone has almost always died and you need to perform the autopsy.

* When your partner hands you a bottle of liquid to have analysed, it is most likely monkey pee!

* You can go through your whole life without ever carrying a purse.

* Dry cleaners can get apparently any stain out of your clothing, no matter how toxic, noxious or otherworldly.

* Sharing hotel rooms is cheaper.

* Just because you buried him, it doesn't mean he's dead.

* Smart is sexy!

* You can always trust a geek...or a trio of geeks.

* Smoking men equal problems.

* Geeks are your best friends.

* Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

* The government is really cheap when it comes to lighting.

* People in suits, military uniforms, or lab coats; any combination of those is usually a bad thing.

* Never go into outhouses.

* Your hair makes you who you are…..don't mess with the hair.

* Video games can be killer no, really, KILLER!!

* Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.

* $20 bills make great tracking devices...same goes for pens.

* Hacking is a turn on. *wink*

* Some people just can't handle autopsies.

* No one is dead unless you see the body...even then it's if-y.

* If something is gooey and on a home-made "nest", DON"T TOUCH IT!

* You can't always trust what you see

* Porno collections are the most sot after possessions

* The heart wants what the heart wants

* Tapping an X on your window is better than using a pager

* Stay away from corn crops

* Bathrooms are dangerous places

* If it's iced tea, it must be love, if it's root beer it must be fate.

* Don't drop your flashlight.

* Basements make great offices

* If you shoot once, and they keep coming, RUN!

* Never take your dog to work with you

* If you find a chip in your neck...leave it there!!!

* Always carry an extra gun, in case you loose one in a fight.

* Never give up on a miracle

* Spooky men are sexy

* Hips before hands.

* Be careful around vending machines, and if they don't work, RUN!

* When in doubt get a DNA test.

* When children that have been missing for years then come back, they look the same as they did when they left

* Don't quit now. After all, no one can do it alone.

* Check your home for hidden cameras

* If you start working with a lady that wears her hair just like you and acts like a mirror around you, run for your life.

* When you meet a man, and all he can do is focus on your hair and nails.....RUN

* You always need an umbrella, never know when frogs might fall on you.

* Watch out for twins, they can, and will, kill you...

* Save your ass and you'll save your head along with it

* Throwing pencils at a ceiling is a good past time

* When faced with a problem always choose the most outrageous theories


"... And say just one extra time that you love the person who lives with you.
Just say, 'I love you.' It's so great."
- Ekatarina Gordeeva


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