Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 02:59

It was just a misunderstanding, why do you sound like you doubt this? Be honest. I appreciate honesty.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Alex Krycek on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:03

Honestly... Knowle is right. Ed is a predator and EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes over he stirs trouble between you and John and tries to make John look bad by saying words liek "forceful" because he knows about the bad men in your past who were forceful. He's trying to manipulate you by setting those negative words in your brain. I can't speak on your behave, nor can I know for certain Ed's motives, but that's my read on him. I know I'm not the smartest of guys, but I know when someone has bad intentions.

I think what you need to do is step aside, look a the situation from an outside view and really see what's going on. There's only so much we can tell you, but you need to be honest with yourself and see what has gone on. Look at how upset Katie got, and she's just five, you know? Kids are more honest than adults so her opinion should out weight all of ours by millions.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:15

Alex Krycek wrote:Honestly... Knowle is right. Ed is a predator and EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes over he stirs trouble between you and John and tries to make John look bad by saying words liek "forceful" because he knows about the bad men in your past who were forceful. He's trying to manipulate you by setting those negative words in your brain. I can't speak on your behave, nor can I know for certain Ed's motives, but that's my read on him. I know I'm not the smartest of guys, but I know when someone has bad intentions.

I know. I see this, but I like to believe that the people in my life right now are good people. I've known Ed for years, and he was a good friend. But I think it was better between us when I was single and he was single. That way the flirtation didn't hurt anyone. That's the kind of friendship I have with Ed, we flirt. And what's worse is that years ago I found that a satisfying friendship, but when I took part in it tonight, deep down inside my heart I felt guilty. But it's like a habit, a bad habit that I'm finding difficult to break. I don't want to remove a friend from my life, and yes, Ed is a friend. What I want is to find common ground where he understands that our friendship cannot be how it used to be, and that calling on me for some booty call is not appropriate, which should be common knowledge to everyone here because as far as I know everyone here, including Ed, knows that I'm happily married. Now, granted, John and I had a problem earlier today, and perhaps Ed picked up on that. In which case, it really was not respectful of him to try to manipulate me and John into this whole fiasco.

I don't want to believe that Ed has bad intentions, and I really don't think anything would have happened had I gone over to his place, but...

I think what you need to do is step aside, look a the situation from an outside view and really see what's going on. There's only so much we can tell you, but you need to be honest with yourself and see what has gone on. Look at how upset Katie got, and she's just five, you know? Kids are more honest than adults so her opinion should out weight all of ours by millions.

... maybe this is what I need to do. Take myself outside of it all and analyze the situation without my bias of friendship with Ed. We're all grown-ups here, and if Ed is trying to split up my family, I will have to tell him that maybe we're better off now as acquaintances rather than good friends. I don't want to do that though. I hope you can understand why I hesitate on this. Or maybe I just don't want to see that there is still bad men in my life. No, I got rid of bad men years ago, I don't let myself get close with people who could hurt me.

Where's Knowle? His insight on such things is always helpful.

I am worried about what made Katie come to her opinion on Ed. What has she seen and heard to make her not like him? Do you know? I should talk to her.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Alex Krycek on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:19

Honestly, there comes a time when you need to evaluate subjectively the "friends" you have in your life. People change and when that happens, it's okay to let them go.

Katie mentioned something about "mommy's friend saying something unnice about daddy."
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:21

Alex Krycek wrote:Honestly, there comes a time when you need to evaluate subjectively the "friends" you have in your life. People change and when that happens, it's okay to let them go.

Katie mentioned something about "mommy's friend saying something unnice about daddy."

Did she overhear this, or did he say it to her?
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Alex Krycek on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:22

She overheard it I believe. It was after we took the photo.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Fox Mulder on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:25

Ed asked me what the chances are of Scully and Doggett's marriage breaking up. I didn't know what to say, his question stunned me, so I just sat there in silence with my jaw on the floor.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Fox Mulder on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:26

Oh and mod... hello! Are you out there? Could you change the title of this thread to something having to do with "working out problems through bickering thread"? There aren't very many pictures in here anymore. It makes me sad.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Knowle Rohrer on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:27

Alex just called me about this topic. Here's what I can tell you. I've dealt with breaking bad habits (sex addiction, alcoholism, drugs). To say it bluntly, Ed must leave your life. He's a part of your past that makes you "fall off the wagon". The only way you're going to get through this is to leave him where he belongs as part of your past and the lessons you learned from it. The worst thing in the world is a relapse--and I've been there. He's part of that addiction, that bad habit, and if you don't correct it now, if you don't leave it behind it will destroy your life and your family and you'll find yourself back where you don't want to be. You'll lose everything and everyone you love. Don't even call him. You're not ready to face him because you are not yet strong enough to deal with that kind of confrontation. It's hard, it's misery, but at the end of the day it's worth it. You have a support system in John and your friends (me, Monica, Mulder, Alex, Maria). You can come to us for anything. You've already gotten through the hardest part: admitting the problem.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Alex Krycek on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:31

Knowle Rohrer wrote:Alex just called me about this topic. Here's what I can tell you. I've dealt with breaking bad habits (sex addiction, alcoholism, drugs). To say it bluntly, Ed must leave your life. He's a part of your past that makes you "fall off the wagon". The only way you're going to get through this is to leave him where he belongs as part of your past and the lessons you learned from it. The worst thing in the world is a relapse--and I've been there. He's part of that addiction, that bad habit, and if you don't correct it now, if you don't leave it behind it will destroy your life and your family and you'll find yourself back where you don't want to be. You'll lose everything and everyone you love. Don't even call him. You're not ready to face him because you are not yet strong enough to deal with that kind of confrontation. It's hard, it's misery, but at the end of the day it's worth it. You have a support system in John and your friends (me, Monica, Mulder, Alex, Maria). You can come to us for anything. You've already gotten through the hardest part: admitting the problem.

Ah... a man with experience. Sexy.... winkiss
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Rey Solo on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:33

Fox Mulder wrote:Oh and mod... hello! Are you out there? Could you change the title of this thread to something having to do with "working out problems through bickering thread"? There aren't very many pictures in here anymore. It makes me sad.

Done. Now stop calling me, I'm trying to sleep.


Last edited by Little Albatross on Sun 11 Mar 2012, 11:39; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:33

I don't think him being a friend is a problem though. I think we all just need to sit down and come to an understanding and equal respect. I'm pretty sure that I'm strong enough to face him in a personal confrontation with John there. I'm curious, and I would like honesty, what makes you think otherwise?

In what way could I "fall off the wagon"? Continue flirting harmlessly with Ed? Kiss him? Worse? I don't think Ed is an addiction, is it possible to be addicted to a person? Or is it addiction to a type of person?

I don't think my friendship with him could make me lose everyone I love. I will never lose Katie or John. They are the most important people in my life.

I'm feeling confused about this now. Did you see what Mulder wrote up above? The Ed I know wouldn't ask something like that. He would understand that my flirting with him was just pointless and not take it to mean that I would stray from John.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Fox Mulder on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:44

Fox Mulder wrote:MOD NOTE: Good grief! You guys should NOT be allowed to split/move or merge threads! BUT upon the request of Fox Mulder, this thread (once known as the Goofy Spooky Picture Thread) had been changed to a place to bitch, moan and whine through your problems. Please, for the sanity of your moderators, keep the peace as best you can.

Thank you.
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Yay! Yippy! cheer2 Thank you, Little Albatross! Keepin' the peace
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Knowle Rohrer on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 03:59

Dana Scully wrote:I don't think him being a friend is a problem though. I think we all just need to sit down and come to an understanding and equal respect. I'm pretty sure that I'm strong enough to face him in a personal confrontation with John there. I'm curious, and I would like honesty, what makes you think otherwise?

Krycek said: Ed is a predator and EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes over he stirs trouble between you and John and tries to make John look bad by saying words liek "forceful" because he knows about the bad men in your past who were forceful. He's trying to manipulate you by setting those negative words in your brain. I can't speak on your behave, nor can I know for certain Ed's motives, but that's my read on him.

To which you replied: I know. I see this, but I like to believe that the people in my life right now are good people. I've known Ed for years, and he was a good friend. But I think it was better between us when I was single and he was single. That way the flirtation didn't hurt anyone. That's the kind of friendship I have with Ed, we flirt. And what's worse is that years ago I found that a satisfying friendship, but when I took part in it tonight, deep down inside my heart I felt guilty. But it's like a habit, a bad habit that I'm finding difficult to break.

^^You admitted the problem. Don't back down from what you previously stated. Above shows me you know the wrong because you felt the guilt. You're never going to live a happy life if you can't be honest with yourself. Now, I'm not saying you're unhappy, but you are when Ed is around.

The fact that you just backed down from your previous statement shows me you are not strong enough to face him on your own. You're not at the step where you should be to talk things out. You are not secure right now as an individual who is dealing with this problem of going back to an old way of life that made you miserable to face him and tell him you don't want him in your life. You can't honestly say you were happy tonight the moment Ed showed up, can you?

In what way could I "fall off the wagon"? Continue flirting harmlessly with Ed? Kiss him? Worse? I don't think Ed is an addiction, is it possible to be addicted to a person? Or is it addiction to a type of person?

Co-dependency is the addiction to a substance or person. You had a sexual relationship with him (and I'm guessing it was the dirty kind that made you feel icky inside, right?). Sex is an addiction. Perhaps you felt you needed him for some reason, only you know the true answer. Addiction to anything or person is possible. You may think you are flirting harmlessly with Ed, but he sees otherwise and no amount of proof that says your not is going to change his mind. Do you know what kind of personality type that is? The criminal type. The type who won't take "no" for an answer... and I'm guessing you've had encounters were those types before.

I don't think my friendship with him could make me lose everyone I love. I will never lose Katie or John. They are the most important people in my life.

And people thought I was a fun loving, amusing drunk at the bars, but my life was falling apart and I was too stupid to realize it until one day I woke up in some hotel room with a woman I didn't know and there were needles, drugs, alcohol. I was slipping at my job, threatened to be fired (and my job was not one they casually fired people). My ruthless neglect of my own well-being and life put my co-workers in jeopardy. I almost died, he almost died. Life hit the shit and sometimes that's what it takes to see how far you've fallen.

I'm feeling confused about this now. Did you see what Mulder wrote up above? The Ed I know wouldn't ask something like that. He would understand that my flirting with him was just pointless and not take it to mean that I would stray from John.

Ed thinks what he wants to think and says things to confuse and manipulate you. He's a pro and I suspect he's been doing this for years. People like that (and I dare not even call them "men") get under my skin and piss me off. My mom was with a guy like that, married him and how did he show his love? With drunken shouts and a hard fist. I have no tolerance for it and I don't want to see you get hurt by people like this.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 04:12

Knowle Rohrer wrote:
Dana Scully wrote:I don't think him being a friend is a problem though. I think we all just need to sit down and come to an understanding and equal respect. I'm pretty sure that I'm strong enough to face him in a personal confrontation with John there. I'm curious, and I would like honesty, what makes you think otherwise?

Krycek said: Ed is a predator and EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes over he stirs trouble between you and John and tries to make John look bad by saying words liek "forceful" because he knows about the bad men in your past who were forceful. He's trying to manipulate you by setting those negative words in your brain. I can't speak on your behave, nor can I know for certain Ed's motives, but that's my read on him.

To which you replied: I know. I see this, but I like to believe that the people in my life right now are good people. I've known Ed for years, and he was a good friend. But I think it was better between us when I was single and he was single. That way the flirtation didn't hurt anyone. That's the kind of friendship I have with Ed, we flirt. And what's worse is that years ago I found that a satisfying friendship, but when I took part in it tonight, deep down inside my heart I felt guilty. But it's like a habit, a bad habit that I'm finding difficult to break.

^^You admitted the problem. Don't back down from what you previously stated. Above shows me you know the wrong because you felt the guilt. You're never going to live a happy life if you can't be honest with yourself. Now, I'm not saying you're unhappy, but you are when Ed is around.

The fact that you just backed down from your previous statement shows me you are not strong enough to face him on your own. You're not at the step where you should be to talk things out. You are not secure right now as an individual who is dealing with this problem of going back to an old way of life that made you miserable to face him and tell him you don't want him in your life. You can't honestly say you were happy tonight the moment Ed showed up, can you?

I was at first and things just escalated. That's when the flirting went from harmless to hurtful. I hurt John. I'm sure you saw he posted this for all to see. I knew John was frustrated and hurt, but I kept on with Ed. It's like Ed is around and I regress back to the Dana of high school and Las Vegas. She was the Dana with good intentions and who wanted to be a good person, but always wound up doing the wrong thing in spite of others who tried to tell her otherwise. Yes, I know I was just speaking in the third person. I do that when I'm trying not to face reality head on.

In what way could I "fall off the wagon"? Continue flirting harmlessly with Ed? Kiss him? Worse? I don't think Ed is an addiction, is it possible to be addicted to a person? Or is it addiction to a type of person?

Co-dependency is the addiction to a substance or person. You had a sexual relationship with him (and I'm guessing it was the dirty kind that made you feel icky inside, right?). Sex is an addiction. Perhaps you felt you needed him for some reason, only you know the true answer. Addiction to anything or person is possible. You may think you are flirting harmlessly with Ed, but he sees otherwise and no amount of proof that says your not is going to change his mind. Do you know what kind of personality type that is? The criminal type. The type who won't take "no" for an answer... and I'm guessing you've had encounters were those types before.

Yes, for the most part my friendship with Ed in the past was "friends with lots and lots of benefits", it wasn't fun sex, it was sex that I felt obligated to take part in because at the time I thought there was no sense in trying to find love and intimacy with someone in order to enjoy sex. At first tonight the flirting was fun, and then it was that old icky feeling (once people's feelings, John's and Katie's, were being hurt).

Yes, I've encountered the criminal type before, a handful of times. You'd think I'd learn how to avoid that type by now :(

I don't think my friendship with him could make me lose everyone I love. I will never lose Katie or John. They are the most important people in my life.

And people thought I was a fun loving, amusing drunk at the bars, but my life was falling apart and I was too stupid to realize it until one day I woke up in some hotel room with a woman I didn't know and there were needles, drugs, alcohol. I was slipping at my job, threatened to be fired (and my job was not one they casually fired people). My ruthless neglect of my own well-being and life put my co-workers in jeopardy. I almost died, he almost died. Life hit the shit and sometimes that's what it takes to see how far you've fallen.

I truly hope that you aren't suggesting that my life may be on the verge of falling apart at the seams. And if that is what you are suggesting, please let me know. I don't want to lose everyone I love. Granted my problem isn't with narcotics. I've worked hard to get past the darkness that once ruled over my life, John was ultimately the one to give me that one last push/shove that I needed to walk away from it all. I can't let one person destroy all of that.

FWIW, John is sitting here with me as we converse about this on the forum.

I'm feeling confused about this now. Did you see what Mulder wrote up above? The Ed I know wouldn't ask something like that. He would understand that my flirting with him was just pointless and not take it to mean that I would stray from John.

Ed thinks what he wants to think and says things to confuse and manipulate you. He's a pro and I suspect he's been doing this for years. People like that (and I dare not even call them "men") get under my skin and piss me off. My mom was with a guy like that, married him and how did he show his love? With drunken shouts and a hard fist. I have no tolerance for it and I don't want to see you get hurt by people like this.

Rest assured that Ed is not violent, nor does he have a problem with alcohol. I'm not sure I understand why he said what he did to Mulder, and I do sincerely hope that Ed hasn't done this to someone else.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Knowle Rohrer on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 04:18

I don't think your life is splitting at the seams. You've got a good support system in John, and when things get icky like they did tonight with Ed, you need to trust him and his judgement because he can help you through it. He's the objective eye to all of this, the honest opinion you need to take to heart.

Just be honest with yourself and with John. Once you reach that state of honesty anything is possible.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 04:22

Knowle Rohrer wrote:I don't think your life is splitting at the seams. You've got a good support system in John, and when things get icky like they did tonight with Ed, you need to trust him and his judgement because he can help you through it. He's the objective eye to all of this, the honest opinion you need to take to heart.

Just be honest with yourself and with John. Once you reach that state of honesty anything is possible.

The thing is... even when I was being stubborn against what John was saying, I knew that he was right. I knew that it was right to not go to Ed's. I was being that rebellious teenager again, and I hope I don't upset anyone when I say this because I'm being honest, had I gone to Ed's I may have let something happen, certainly not sex, but something like a kiss. I was so upset and frustrated with myself.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by John Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 04:32

Dana Scully wrote:
Knowle Rohrer wrote:I don't think your life is splitting at the seams. You've got a good support system in John, and when things get icky like they did tonight with Ed, you need to trust him and his judgement because he can help you through it. He's the objective eye to all of this, the honest opinion you need to take to heart.

Just be honest with yourself and with John. Once you reach that state of honesty anything is possible.

The thing is... even when I was being stubborn against what John was saying, I knew that he was right. I knew that it was right to not go to Ed's. I was being that rebellious teenager again, and I hope I don't upset anyone when I say this because I'm being honest, had I gone to Ed's I may have let something happen, certainly not sex, but something like a kiss. I was so upset and frustrated with myself.

Dana, thank you for being honest about this with me (and then posting it here).

I also need to apologize to you, I'm sorry that I 'raised my voice' with you here on the forum (and in person) during all of this. If you had gone over to Ed's I would have been up all night waiting for you to come home, and if you didn't I would have come over to Ed's. I would never make you sleep downstairs on the couch. I'd rather we both share a bed with each other when having a fight than to split up. Forgive me my lack of clarity tonight.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 04:42

John Doggett wrote:
Dana Scully wrote:
Knowle Rohrer wrote:I don't think your life is splitting at the seams. You've got a good support system in John, and when things get icky like they did tonight with Ed, you need to trust him and his judgement because he can help you through it. He's the objective eye to all of this, the honest opinion you need to take to heart.

Just be honest with yourself and with John. Once you reach that state of honesty anything is possible.

The thing is... even when I was being stubborn against what John was saying, I knew that he was right. I knew that it was right to not go to Ed's. I was being that rebellious teenager again, and I hope I don't upset anyone when I say this because I'm being honest, had I gone to Ed's I may have let something happen, certainly not sex, but something like a kiss. I was so upset and frustrated with myself.

Dana, thank you for being honest about this with me (and then posting it here).

I also need to apologize to you, I'm sorry that I 'raised my voice' with you here on the forum (and in person) during all of this. If you had gone over to Ed's I would have been up all night waiting for you to come home, and if you didn't I would have come over to Ed's. I would never make you sleep downstairs on the couch. I'd rather we both share a bed with each other when having a fight than to split up. Forgive me my lack of clarity tonight.

Apology accepted, Johnny kissy It's a good feeling to know that I can admit something like this to you and not feel judged or rejected because of it. Thank you. wub iloveyou
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by John Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 04:45

Right back at you, babe
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Fox Mulder on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 13:04

Yay! I'm so glad that everything is good, happy, and swell now!
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Alex Krycek on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 14:42

John and Dana's Marriate Is In Toubrl Rant
by the studly cuddly Alex Krycek

So um., I tinhjk Jon and Dadna's marriage is in mucho trouble. I mena, he hides the fact that he has a motorbike from her. Doesn't tell her when he goes out driving it. They suck at communication and live in a diluted world wehre they think they are perfect.

Last night for example with Ed. dana's such a child that s he was in to teenage rebellion and going to go off to Eds. And she even addmitted that she was so angry and frstuated that she ould've done something like kiss him. She's stupid to do tat if you ask me and John and Katie don't deserve that kinda treament.

I just feel that they are going to fall about and POOR KATIE IS IN THE MIDDL FO IT! It makes me so angry that they've been marrie this long and they let soething like ED JERKS screw things up! Maybe it's not him at all. Maybe it's them and some unsaid underlining tension that they aren't talking about --- cuz lets face it, THEY DON"T TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angry
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by John Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 14:44

Alex... put it to rest.
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Dana Doggett on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 14:44

There's nothing left unsaid!
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Re: Working Out Problems Through Bickering Thread

Post by Alex Krycek on Sun 26 Feb 2012, 14:45

Whatever! Talk to the hand!
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